Meeting Etiquette

I've decided to compile a list of helpful pointers for how to behave in work meetings. If you aren't a fool, you'll probably think that everything here is simple common sense. However, in just over six years of attending countless meetings, I've observed some very troublesome behaviour. I believe that if we all just try a little harder, we can avoid wasting everyone's time. (Note that by "we", I really mean you.)

1. It is not necessary to paraphrase what someone else has just said. Assume that if you understood it, your colleagues have also. Unless someone asks a question, once a point has been covered, it's been covered. Move on.
   
2. Do not feel the need to comment simply because you have been invited to attend a meeting. Listening carefully and ensuring your concerns are being addressed is active participation. For this reason, don't feel that you are contributing by asking stupid questions. As a guideline, you should know that if you begin any sentence with "I know this isn't what this meeting is about but..." you need to shut up.
   
3. Be on time. I realize that you are the most important person in the universe and that your issues are far more critical than everyone else's, but if the meeting begins at 10AM, be there for 10. There may be some occasions where circumstances beyond your control will force you to be late, but these should be the exceptions. Look at the clock when you walk into a meeting, if you are consistently more than 5 minutes late, you should know that the rest of the people in the room probably think you are an ass.
   
4. Don't bring up issues that affect only you in a meeting of more than 3 people. Just because something is annoying to you or making your life difficult, it doesn't mean the rest of the group wants to know about it. Catch up to people after the meeting and ask your questions then.
   
5. Don't interrupt. If you walk by a closed door and can tell that people are meeting within, don't walk in. Don't assume that because you think your issue is critical, that others will agree. I'll make it easy for you, you are allowed 3 walk-ins per calendar year. If you find yourself interrupting more often than that, you should know that you've got bad time-management skills. After all, everyone else already knows this.
   
6. Don't take care of personal hygiene in a meeting. Flossing your teeth, adjusting your package, clipping or biting your nails, picking your face, and a host of other such activities are disturbing to your fellow colleagues. Stop it. Stop it right now!
   
7. Shower. Pursuant to item #6, of course, you are not to shower in the meeting. However, if you do attend meetings on a frequent basis, do your colleagues a favour and use proper hygiene when outside the office. Wash your clothes, bathe, shampoo, rinse and repeat. Nobody likes to be in a meeting but people really don't want to be in a meeting with you because you stink!