Sidewalk Etiquette

By choosing to live in a certain location, you form an unwritten contract with your fellow citizens. You agree to respect some basic guidelines of co-existence within your chosen context. This doesn’t mean that you’ll share the same politics, or gardening tastes as your neighbours, or that you’ll join the neighbourhood watch association. It doesn’t mean that if you live in the Bible belt, you’ll go to church on Sundays. It simply means that you’ll agree to consent to a few fundamental principles and try to get along. Of course, there are the exceptions that prove the rule: the certifiably and temporarily insane who, for one reason or another, are no longer aware of their surroundings. But for the rest of us, there really isn’t any excuse for rocking the boat.

If you live in a city, you benefit from a host of advantages absent from smaller locations. You don’t have to know your neighbours. You can probably walk down the street and find a butcher, a baker and a candle shop. You can feast on meals from a hundred different cultures and get to the restaurant on public transportation. You can see a play, a foreign film or a live band and you can buy almost anything. But you also have to share your space with millions of other human beings. And in that sharing comes some pain. However, that pain is manageable if we all just use a little common sense.

There are two areas in the city where civility is paramount: public transportation zones, and sidewalks. It isn’t possible to discuss both areas within one entry so, in order to give each area it’s due, I’m going to start by focusing on the sidewalk. After all, you can’t take the subway without getting there first. And as soon as you walk out your door into the streets of the city, you are bound to encounter some bad sidewalk etiquette.

For instance, as you make your way to the station, your first encounter may be a family of four, strolling along together, oblivious to your busy schedule. The father is pushing a running stroller with large protruding wheels, his two year-old toddler walks alongside, zig-zagging his way across the path. The mother appears lost in her own thoughts, at the other end of the sidewalk. Each time you try to pass, one of them edges in, blocking your way. You say, “excuse me” several times and still they don’t seem to notice you. You will wonder to yourself why neither parent is holding their child’s hand. You won’t want to risk making a break for it because a part of you knows that if you do, the toddler will come crashing into your legs, and will fall to the ground in tears. Perhaps you will get lucky and they will stop to look in a shop window.

You might also run into a group of friends who haven’t seen each other in days/weeks/months. They are all really happy to see one another again and they have so much to say. They’ll talk in the middle of the sidewalk, shrinking the width and forcing you to squeeze by them and the people walking in the other direction. You will share a brief moment of eye rolling with a woman coming toward you and it will briefly lessen your frustration but not enough that you won’t accidentally shoulder the last of the chatters.

If you are walking arm-in-arm with your beloved, you may encounter another couple coming towards you in a similar fashion. You will think, “if they move over a bit, and we move over a bit, we’ll all get by without skipping a step” and you will move to your right. You will then wonder why they aren’t moving to their right, why they continue to walk straight down the middle of the sidewalk. You will realize that they may be playing chicken with you. Perhaps you will ultimately discover that you are the chicken and you will fall into single-file to avoid a crash.

As you make your way along the sidewalks of the city, you’ll be forced to avoid piles that your fellow citizens have neglected to pick up after their dogs. You’ll meet people who stop in the middle of the way, people who walk out of stores without looking both ways to avoid stepping into oncoming pedestrians. You’ll have to negotiate groups of smoking, spitting teenagers “no you didn’t”-ing each other. These are the obstacles that will block your path as you stroll along trying desperately to hang on to your good mood.

If only everyone would just follow the guiding principles:

1) If there isn’t room, make room.
2) Pick up after yourself.
3) You are not alone.

Some days, it feels like a losing battle. As though everyone else around you is simply testing your patience by toying with you. But I believe there is hope that we can all get along. The other day, Mr. Titswiggle and I were walking along the sidewalk and we saw a sight that made me want to cheer. A couple was walking beside their toddler who was clearly just getting used to the idea of walking on his own. As they turned into our path, we slipped into single file suspecting we would be forced off the sidewalk and onto the street if we were to avoid a head-on collision with the little one. Instead, we witnessed a sidewalk miracle. The father softly said “honey, move in front of us, other people are coming”. The little boy wasn’t more than two but he understood his father and edged his drunken sailor shuffle over to his parents’ side of the path. No one had to stop in their tracks. No one had to step onto the street. No one ended up climbing a snowbank. We all passed each other with a smile and both Titswiggles thanked the little boy. If only everyone had his manners.